You'll Stay in My Heart
by monalisasmadhatters
Summary: A scene between Santana and Quinn that I think should have been included in the season one finale.


Just a little scene I like to imagine happened during season one's 'Journey.' Let me know what you think.

* * *

It's quiet when she opens the door, the lights down and only a few small cracks of sunlight hitting the tile as the try to pierce through the blinds. She's cautious as she steps in, carefully closing the door as silently as possible before walking down the small entry way. She can see Quinn's and what she guesses are Puck's bags resting on the floor at the foot of the hospital bed, old fast food containers and cups littering the counter around the sink as they lay abandoned. Santana knows that normally Quinn would never allow this scene to depict her but she guesses Quinn isn't really in the mood to care about something so trivial, Santana's eyes now falling on the blonde's frame as she sees the bed come into view.

"Q?" she calls out, her voice cracking as she tries to find the right pitch. "You…you awake?" She watches as the mass on the bed shuffles around under the covers before a mess of blonde hair appears, Quinn rolling over and pushing herself up as she blinks. Santana can't help but notice how small and fragile Quinn looks beneath the layers of thick cotton, the image before her so contradictory to the one she's used to seeing in the halls at school.

"Hi," Quinn mumbles softly as she runs her hand across her cheeks, having lost track of time as she glances around to see whether it's light or dark outside.

"How ya feeling?" Santana asks as she steps forward, her dress making a swishing sound as it moves with her. "Ya doing ok?" She knows how cavalier she sounds but she honestly has no idea how she's supposed to act in a situation like this, her nails digging into the skin of her palms as they begin to sweat. Quinn doesn't answer her and Santana doesn't expect her to, the two of them waiting in silence as they both try to conjure up words.

"I heard about-about Regi-"

"That doesn't matter," Santana interjects quickly as she shakes her head, moving around Puck's gym bag and towards the bed as she takes her place by Quinn's side. It's where she should have been all along she knows but for some reason she wasn't, Quinn not the only one with a heart full of regrets in the room. "None of that matters." Quinn doesn't say anything else as she stares off across the room, bringing her knees under her chin and wrapping her arms around her legs as she thinks.

"Quinn, I don't-I don't know what I'm supposed to say," Santana whispers as she rubs her nails along the cotton sheet, avoiding Quinn's gaze as she studies the pattern of the cloth. "I'm so, so sorry." She can see Quinn shaking her head out of the corner of her now blurring eyes and curses herself as a tear trails down her cheek, all of the lecturing she had done with herself out in the waiting room about keeping it together coming undone as she sniffles.

Quinn remains silent as she looks over to see her best friend and part time enemy fall apart, the action just another bizarre happening that's plagued her life that day. She guesses that's what happens when you get knocked up at 16 and bounce around from house to house, having spent the last nine months throwing the balance of her once perfect life out of order as she spiraled.

"I just don't-I don't understand it yet I guess," Quinn finally speaks up as Santana looks to see the blonde's own eyes brim with tears, Quinn running her hand under them as her hospital bracelet scratches her skin. "I mean it's just-I keep thinking this can't be my life, this can't be happening to me, you know? And the weirdest part of all?" the blonde murmurs slowly as she runs her tongue along her cracked lips, Santana watching as Quinn speaks. "Is that despite everything that happened to me, losing my parents, my spot as captain, Finn, my body…the worst pain of all was losing her." Santana is unable to control the gasp she releases as she tries to catch her breath, Quinn's face becoming even paler as she chokes back a cry.

"I spent so much time hating myself, and her, for what she did to me, for what she took from me, and now- now I'd give anything just to hold her one more time. To tell her that I'm sorry for giving her away, and that there won't be a day my heart won't find her. That even though she'll have a new family she'll always be a part of mine, a part of me." Santana's unable to stand by any longer as she pushes the blankets of Quinn's bed back and crawls underneath them, sliding in beside Quinn and reaching out for the tiny porcelain fingers as she intertwines them with her own.

"It's like there's this hole…this hole in my heart," Quinn says between breaths as she tugs at the material of the gown resting against her chest. "And it hurts every time I breath. I keep replaying it all over again and again, and I just-there's so many things I would have done differently if I'd known…"

"Known what?" Santana asks as she finally manages to halt her tears, Quinn looking over at her as their eyes meet for the first time.

"That I'd miss her this much. That I'd love her this much." Santana watches as Quinn looks back down and hears a sob come from behind the blonde locks of hair that have fallen in her face, moving her arm to wrap around Quinn's body as she pulls her into her own.

"I love you Q," Santana says softly as she rests her head on top of Quinn's, rocking their bodies side to side as she sighs. "And I'm gonna be here for you, no matter what. I know I've been a shitty friend to you this past year, and I know I'll never be able to make that up, but I'm here for you, ok? I'm not leaving your side anymore. As cheesy as this sounds, you're my best friend in the whole world and I'm gonna make sure I prove that to you."

"Then will you do something for me?" Quinn asks as she moves her head to look at Santana, her bottom lip quivering a little as she licks it again.

"'Course, anything."

"Lay with me?" Quinn asks as she sniffles. "I just-I haven't been alone for nine months, and I'm not sure I know how to be yet." Santana doesn't respond as she moves her body to rest against Quinn's, the two of them fitting together like puzzle pieces as they relax underneath the covers. Santana's frame is warm against Quinn's and for the first time in a long time the blonde feels a kind of comfort, sighing a little as her body unwinds. Santana rests her nose in the crook of Quinn's neck and lets her hand find it's way back to the other girls, their fingers locking once more as they rest. Pausing for a moment Santana wonders if she should say something else or let it be, her mouth moving without her control as she hums softly.

_"Forever, and ever, you'll stay in my heart and I will love you, forever, and ever, we never will part, oh how I love you…"_

_"…together, forever, that's how it must be,"_ Quinn joins in as she sings softly, feeling Santana smiling against her skin as the words say everything she had needed to but couldn't.

_"To live without you, would only mean heartbreak for me._"


End file.
